Free write: Love in Black and White

I'm not loved. Well, I guess that some people love me but they don't really love me. They only love me for what's in me and what I'm about. Which I guess I should be thankful for. Nobody really cares what I look like and I guess that's a good thing.
I just wish that everybody wasn't so critical of me. They act like they can just stare at me for long enough then completely understand who I am and what I'm really about. I know quite a bit about romance and relationships and I think that if I could get a man to truly understand me then it wouldn't be so hard to find the kind of love that I was made for and can't escape from. My first problem is that I've never even been touched by a man. I'll sit alone for weeks at a time and when somebody finally checks me out it's always a woman. The worst part is that every single time it's some sad, lonely woman. I think they do it just to taunt me and show me that I'll always be lonely like them. And every time I'm with a woman, it's always the exact same thing: first comes romance, then love, and one instance of love-making, but always just one, then she's done with me. She takes me back to the library and puts me back in my lonely space on the shelf. It's a sad life, being a romance novel.

Short Story: The Front Room

Reluctantly, I sat in the back room, as I was told. The man who stood at the front of the restaurant was not a good man. He had been in one of my freshman college classes, but I doubt that he knew of or appreciated my existence.

 It had been an hour and I still had not been waited upon. The men in the front room had already eaten and paid, before the staff had so much as blinked at me.

Another man, of my own status, walked in and courageously sat in the front room without paying any mind to the host. I followed his example. I stood up and sat at the table with him. The staff now seemed to be paying some attention to me, even more than the other men in the front room.

The host had been at our table within the minute. “Yer lucky I even let you in here,” he said with his thick north Georgian accent,” Now yer takin’ advantage of my generosity.”

“shut up, you stupid hick”, the man at my table said,” you’ve got no idea…”, I grabbed his shoulder.

“Generosity?” I said. “Explain how you were being generous.”

He was speechless for a minute, “Y’all don’t have any business with these good, honest people, you’ll git Just as good service when we git time.”

The man at the table with me stood up, “What makes you so much better than us?”

“Ain’t it obvious?” the host said.

I sat up in my chair, “I dream of the day that men like you and men like us can look past these discernible differences and live together without conflict.”

The man opened his big mouth and laughed in my face, carelessly spewing spit. I became furious and decided to leave the establishment before I gave a worse name to our people. The man at the table with me followed. He was no longer the man that had first sat at that table.

Don't Scream

I heard her. I heard her whisper my name. I haven't seen her for a month. I've never talked to her. At this school, I'm that weird kid who sits in the corner. At that school, I'm the king. But none of them know. How could any of them possibly know? I know they don't like me. I don't know why. That's okay, it's my last day. I just need to sit through two more hours and I'll never see any of these evil people again.
Tick tick tick... tick... tick...... tick...... tick......... tick......... tick
Time's slowing down. I'll just peak at the clock and check the time. It's probably close to break time. Nope. Not even.
Tick tick tick... tick... tick...... tick...... tick......... tick......... tick
Break time? It's only been two minutes. Wait... did I just fall asleep with my eyes open? Oh God, did they notice? I think they did. They're moving away from me. I'm all alone at my table now. I haven't spoken to any of these people. Why do they hate me? They're trying so hard to avoid eye contact. I'll just lay my head down and escape from them. I'm halfway through. I can survive one more hour.
Tick tick tick... tick... tick...... tick...... tick......... tick......... tick
Okay, ten minutes left. What's that? Nothing left to do? And we still have to stay here for another ten minutes? Can't use my phone. Nothing to occupy me. Too much energy to sleep through it. Everybody is so loud. They're so happy. They're so friendly. They all hate me. They're so evil. Why do they hate me? Why do they hate me? Why do they hate me? Just think about something else. Okay. Okay. Okay. Don't scream. Don't scream. Don't scream.
Tick tick tick... tick... tick...... tick...... tick......... tick......... tick
Alright, it feels like it's been an hour. It must be time to go. Nope. We've still got five minutes. They all hate me. Everybody in this room hates me. I can't take it. I'm trapped in this room with all of these demons. This driving school is driving me crazy! There it is again! I heard her. I heard her whisper my name. Why does she hate me? Why do I care? I don't like her. Why does this bother me? I don't care what other people think of me. Why do they hate me? Don't scream. Don't scream. Don't scream.
Tick tick tick... tick... tick...... tick...... tick......... tick......... tick